Just Cremate Me

As a funeral director, specifically a funeral director in the Northwest part of the US, I hear on a regular basis, “Just cremate me”.  This is such an ambiguous statement.  Does the person mean they prefer a  simple, no-frills disposition without ceremony or added services? Or do they mean they prefer the disposition or their remains as cremation over traditional burial services? Just Cremate Me can mean so many different things.  So lets look at some of the options associated with cremation.

The Traditional Cremation typically looks much like a traditional Burial Service.  It includes viewing or visitation, some form of a casket, often time embalming is involved followed by cremation.

Cremation with a memorial service or Celebration of Life.  With this type of cremation, the cremation typically happens prior to any service. A memorial service or Celebration of Life service is held afterward with other without an urn present. This type of cremation service can take place right after a death or many weeks or months later giving time for the family and friends to plan and gather at a convenient time.  

A Witness Cremation or Private Family Goodbye.  If the family chooses to be present at the cremation of their loved one, we call this a witness cremation.  This time provides the survivors with an opportunity to say goodbye in a private setting which many families say provided them with a meaningful closure and acceptance of the passing.  

Direct Cremation, sometimes referred to as Basic Cremation.  A direct cremation is typically the simplest and least expensive type of cremation service. The cremation takes place at the convenience of the crematory with no ceremony or visitation.  Many families choose direct cremation and later hold a celebration of life gathering at a later date and at a location other than the funeral home. 

To make “Just Cremate Me” even more confusing, there are different types of the cremation process available. 

Flame Based Cremation is the more common form of cremation.  This process uses flame, forced air and some type of fuel (natural gas) in direct contact with the remains to reduce the remains to skeletal remains.  The skeletal remains are then removed from the crematorium and pulverized to a powdery substance similar to the consistency of concrete mix.  The color of the remains will range from a light grey to almost black due to the amount of carbon produced in the process.  The remain are placed in some sort of urn or container and then returned to the surviving family or delivered to a local cemetery.  Please note, the pulverized skeletal remains are not “Ashes” If the cremation process is completed properly, there should be no ash remaining. 

Water Cremation or Aquamation (Alkaline Hydrolysis) is a newer form of cremation.  This process is much more gentle that flame based cremation.  Aquamation, is a process where the remains are placed into a machine that gets filled with water.  A small percentage of Lye or alkaline is added.  The process then reduces the remains to the skeletal remains.  These skeletal remains are removed, dried and pulverized similarly to flame based cremation.  The yield of cremated remains is typically about 20 % higher than flame based cremation which means you will get more of your loved ones cremated remains returned to you in the urn.  Because carbon from a fire is not added to this process, the cremated remains are white versus the varying grey color of flame based cremation.

As you can see, “Just Cremate Me” is a very confusing statement.  Cremation of any kind is simply the disposition of the remains.  How that disposition is accomplished and what happened before or after that disposition are the questions we as funeral directors must answer to be able to properly serve a family.